Adding an item to Ben Franklin’s “sure things in life” list.
I had a follow-up appointment with my cardiologist after last week’s echo. The fluid looks good still, and not likely to cause trouble at this point. The new “fun” is that they spotted a mass near/on/against the right atrium–probably a lymph node that has either grown or just not been spotted before (the tech doing the scan was training someone so showing off angles as well as direct). So I am getting an MRI to see exactly what that and others in the area are doing, and from there they will decide if the situation warrants starting chemo immediately, or if we can still hold off. The neck/axillary scans and blood work have all been good, so this is a new wrinkle and a bit of a game-changer. Eh. It’s the new normal–nothing’s for sure until I actually start treatment, and even then it’s a whole new round of uncertainty. 🙂
There are some pros to starting sooner (done sooner, no more limbo) to go along with the cons (chemo, likely induced birth), and at this point I just want to know the plan. Part of me suspects we are about to “go live”, but who knows–I tend to suspect it every month before my oncology visit and so far I’ve been wrong. The MRI should be next week, and I have my regular oncology appointment on the 25th. It could get quite interesting in the next few weeks!
The main prayer at this point is for accurate scanning and assessment, and the best decision for me and baby in consultation with the “team” (oncologist, cardiologist, OB). We could also use prayer as we try to figure out how the treatment phase–nearly six months–is going to look for our family, balancing treatments and related issues with the usual round of work, two active boys, and a newborn. It’s slightly less daunting today, when I have decent energy and the weather is nice and we are all contagion-free (can’t quite say healthy, can I?), but tomorrow could easily be a different story. One less-sleep night and my perspective changes radically! I usually still have faith that we will get through this somehow, but on the hard days it’s more like “We’ll get through this…SOMEHOW!” I cannot express how thankful we are for family and friends who have helped so much already and who will be alongside us for the next phase of the journey. Love makes it all possible!