Round 2, TKO

I am not sure if it is Round 2 or I on the mat, but R2 is certainly in the building.

Last night was somewhat low-sleep, the day at the hospital was longer than expected (which, by now, I should expect), and I think the meds are kicking in already, which I don’t remember happening quite as quickly the first time…no matter the cause, I already feel wiped! We got home around 2:30 and I pretty much came straight upstairs for a 2-hour nap, from which I awoke feeling quite groggy. We were blessed with a meal delivery tonight and I had dinner at the table, but then it was sitting in the recliner to read with Luke, then back to bed and reading with Luke. I am letting myself rest this time rather than doing what I “could” do (clean up dishes, chase boys for the bedtime routine, etc.) since pushing and saying “I can handle this little thing…and this little thing…and this” is what landed me back in the hospital four days out last time. Yeah, no thanks. So, it’s like bed rest except it will be for a few days every couple of weeks instead of a constant state.

I am also pushing, pushing, pushing fluids–I have two water bottle/mug things on my nightstand right now, to save trips downstairs. For Chris. And I just took a short blogging break to take a drink. See? Compliance! It used to be my middle name, and this cancer experience is giving me the chance to recapture my youth. Sorta kinda.

We talked a bit about the Baby Day decision with my oncologist–they all meet on Monday to decide–and the difference in the message today was that they still want to time the birth for two weeks after a treatment, but all things being equal get me back on the chemo-mobile a week later rather than two. This is more like what he said a while back, so I think there is a “general sense” of how this will all go and even the medical types are in the throes of uncertainty. Understandable. The three week break is better for not letting the cancer cells recover too much before taking the next big hit…I of course am along for the ride on that, but that is now life as I know it through March.

So I have my water supply, the good meds for anti-nausea purposes over the next few days (prevention trumps relief!), and my amazing husband and his wonderful mom taking care of me and the boys. I plan to be VERY EASY to care for: food, drink. Ta-da!

I do have plans for tomorrow that largely involve me sitting or reclining in seats outside my home. We have a late-morning appointment for my weekly non-stress test with the OB office, then an early-afternoon appointment back at the infusion center for some IV hydration to help boost what I am taking in orally. With lunch in between. Chris (very nonchalantly) smuggled in some Mexican food today, yum! Tomorrow might be a Panera day. Or Jake’s Wayback burgers. Or…something good, obviously, since food is and will remain a happy thing. Preggo lady’s orders.

I had my first counseling appointment yesterday, and while a lot of it was story-of-my-life and story-of-what-brought-me-here, I had a really good sense that working with this person will be a good experience. So, more appointments for the calendar.

I am thinking of making a paper chain to count down my remaining chemo treatments. Two down, ten to go! One sixth of the way there. See? It’s flying by. 😛 My plan is to rip that last loop into the tiniest possible pieces, the set them on fire in a tin can in the middle of the street. Catharsis much?

My other, much shorter-term to-do item is to figure out how to post pictures to this blog. My haircut is one thing, but I think you all deserve baby pics when this little person arrives. I’m sure you agree.

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6 Responses to Round 2, TKO

  1. akasleen says:

    You’re amazing! 😀

    • Aw, shucks. 🙂 This all was NOT my plan (hah) and I’m just doing what I have to do–and not always graciously! But hope is powerful and despite the craziness that is what I am living in. And telling the story along the way, well, I’m a word girl. 🙂 Thank you for all of the encouragement–it means a lot!

  2. jane larsen says:

    We are behind you… having watched my child receive chemo i have seen the after effects… Rest rest and rest. Take your food needs by how you feel. experience tells me that forcing your self to eat doesnt help in the long run. When you feel like eating eat and dont be too worried about whther it is healthy or not… that can come again later when you aren´t being posioned.. Another thing is look after your mouth really really well. One of the worst side effects of chemo after nausea and vomiting is the mouth sores. Being a little bit hard today will save you the agony of fungus removal later on. nausea meds and pain meds.. don´t be a hero .. don´t try and do without.. getting them undercontrol again once you´ve lost it is really really hard….
    we recieved paper cranes during Freja´s treatment.. 1000 was the goal.. something about a Japanese proverb. Maybe you could make one for every day of treatment.. a different colour for each thing that happens… red for a blood test, blue for chemo type one green for chemo type 2. Ime its very worth while to have something to remember what happened and when. Especially later when you are working through what happened. 10 chemos is a very intensive regime and it will be quickly over and you will feel like where did all the time go…
    Prayers for a cancer free future for all fighters. Jane and Freja and family

    • Thanks, Jane. 🙂 I have been pleasantly surprised, and very blessed, to have no stomach issues so far–eating like a 7.5-month-pg woman, and then some! The fatigue in the week after treatment has been the biggest side effect, and pretty major, so I am locking down this weekend and taking rest much more seriously than I did last time. No more in-hospital time until baby! Thank you for the prayers…I know cancer is much too close to your heart.

  3. What a great attitude! I am continuing to keep all of you in my prayers.

    • Thank you, Mary! Plenty of “don’t wanna” here, but also much more “still gotta” (so eloquent!) and the best possible reasons for doing all of it. Life, lives, love. Thank you for the prayers…I am so aware of them but sure I underestimate just how much they are carrying us.

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